My first STD was from a foam party
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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