Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
