just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
