Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My pussy is not your playground.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
