? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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