i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
