I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
