So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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