What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
