I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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