Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
