What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
