Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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