I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
