escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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