Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
