How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
