where am i from again
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
