apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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