I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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