No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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