I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize