yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
