Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i used baking grease as lip gloss
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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