He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
