I'm drive I can fine osifer
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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