I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
