sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
