we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
