its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
