to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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