You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
