Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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