i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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