you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize