i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
