hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
