very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
