Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
