My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
