brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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