youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
