I look better un-naked...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
