We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
