We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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