you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize