nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
