Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
