I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
