I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
