he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
