lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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