fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize