she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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