Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
