i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
