Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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