I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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