we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
