Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
