PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize