Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
