Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
