i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I cut my penus on the lid.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
