I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
