yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
