i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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