I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
